Sing a New Song
When my husband died after thirty-three years of a good marriage, I was filled with so many mixed emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Not so different from what you have or are now experiencing following the loss of your spouse, a child, a parent, a dear friend or sometimes even worse, a broken relationship. Regardless of who you have lost, the fearful thoughts as to how can you move forward into an unknown life are daunting. Obviously, we all handle these things in our own way and in our own time, ending at varying crossroads.
Journaling has always been a safe private place to express myself. There on the written page I could remember the happy, wonderful times shared that would bring laughter to my heart and warmth to my soul while knowing there will not be any more such times shared with my loved one. I could also leave behind on the pages stained with tears the sadness and unhappy times, the pain and sorrow we shared together that we somehow survived and that made us stronger.
Several months had gone by when the “obligatory dinners” with friends, mostly couples, had ended and I realized on a social basis it is a “couples world” and I was no longer a member of the Couples Club. I was faced with the agonizing questions of “Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want to do with what’s left of my life?” 4 Feeling pulled in so many directions I couldn’t seem to get grounded or focused on anything.
Well-meaning friends and family would try to be encouraging and supportive by saying “It’s time you move on with your life.” “You need to get over it,“ “Move on”. Fortunately, I was also truly blessed with faithful friends, colleagues, and family who with loving care actually invested their time and hung in through thick and thin and helped to point me in the right direction to make the transition from Wife to Widow.
It was my dear pastor and loving friend who believed and stated: “You have many diverse talents, multi-faceted like a priceless jewel – you are God’s masterpiece.” It was a kind, comforting and encouraging thing to say to me at the time. He further advised me to keep moving forward, pursuing and exploring what presents itself at the time, giving it a chance, yet feeling free to disregard if it did not bring happiness or a future. He then said “Sing a New Song.” (Psalm 96:1)
Each day brings me a new verse, or perhaps the chorus is repeated – if so, I treat it as a rehearsal. I assure you years later I continue to sing loudly and with passion, sometimes off-key, others silly and full of whimsy; yet I’m still singing and moving forward joyfully and expectantly.
Rest assured I did not and do not travel this journey alone; I am blessed with widow friends who had gone before me, and those of us who are traveling together meeting the challenges and sharing in the happiness we have found along the way.
WIDOWS TALK MOTTO: TALK THE TALK & WALK THE WALK – together we push through the pain with passion and promise
