The Check Box

I am a widow; that is the box I that I must check. Interesting how a simple checking of a new box can represent the changing world around you and within you. It’s forced upon you – there it is – no choice – you must now check this new box…Widow.

This is now your box. It represents and frames the dynamics of choice – your choice! How are you going to embrace your new life as a widow? Will you choose active, energetic, life with a vibrant “Go ahead give it a try” attitude; become self-motivative, experience new areas; live as one full of life…OR will you choose the flip side and become disengaged, uninteresting, droopy, lazy, bored? What you choose to do with what you put in, and what you take out of YOUR box defines who you are and who you will become. YOUR box is key to you, your family and friends, and will have a lasting effect and influence on them as well as on you. Change is hard, no doubt it. The question is: How are you going to move forward from one box to the other: Wife to Widow?

One of the keys is to take a careful and honest inventory of yourself – separating fantasies, feelings and fears from actual facts. What I discovered was the importance of journaling. For me putting down on paper what I believed was an honest assessment became essential in facing reality, freeing me to move forward with reassurance and definitely with an adjusted attitude. By writing it down -it’s there, starting you in the face; unlike only thinking about it where you can easily dismiss the thoughts. Sure you can toss tough issues aside, but then what is the point of trying to deal with realities that are facing you?

In journaling I would express my thoughts, the begin to process them, which led me into a better understanding of myself; why I felt sometimes numb, betrayed, and abandoned by what I thought were dear friends; and at times fearful as to what the future held. That led me to forgiving and releasing what I could not change, setting me free to embrace what was left of my journey.

As a widow I have found over the past years (as have others) that by sharing WITH and caring FOR other Widows has given me a healthier perspective, a positive outlook on how to move forward and enjoy what is left of my life. As a storyteller, I found that putting my memories, my thoughts on paper I could reflect, enjoy, and occasionally bring laughter; if not out loud, the laughter echoed in my heart and brought a smile to my face. I could also release any pain that I was feeling, leaving those thoughts on the written page.

Here at Widow’s Talk we work together to build confidence and comfort, knowing the challenges are similar and that sharing with others often lightens the burden and provides a path you can follow.

Widow’s Talk is based on an “Exchange Format” wherein the sharing and caring aspect is key to our success, providing tools to help each other move forward to a new fulfilling life that awaits us all.

We invite you to “Talk the Talk ” and “Walk the Walk ”. It’s an exciting journey; I hope you will join us here at Widow’s Talk