Furry & Feathered Friends

One of the most important factors in my “moving forward” was the loving support of family and friends. I was blessed with trustworthy friends with whom I could share my deepest concerns, private thoughts, and memories. I knew, too, that my expressed feelings would not be a platform for criticism, nor would I be judged. Yet when I requested input, it was open and honest. The biggest key in my healing and stepping into the world of widowhood was my trust in the Lord.

One such trusted friend, also a widow, was Susan.  We had met while we were dating our future husbands, who had been friends since they were small children. After our marriages we lived only blocks apart. We shared 40 plus years of love, laughter, heartaches. From this friendship there are years of stories I could tell – perhaps another book to write.

Our husbands died within a few years of each other.  As widows we remained close and often reflected on our happy times that we celebrated as couples, as well as the troubled times.

Susan and I rented a beach house for six months alone with two other cherished friends SuSu and Judy.  It was a sorority house for sixty-year-olds.  Say no more.  One friend Judy fell madly in love and married shortly after our stay was up.  Su Su returned to her life in New York City but not long after returned to the Island, where she still lives. Susan returned to her condo in Rancho Santa Fe, CA.

This experience became a bridge for trying new things.  I then rented a home by myself on Balboa Island, in Southern California where I remained for five years building confidence, experiencing new areas, stepping back into the dating world,  and then going from the most joyful and wonderful experience of love and laughter to plummeting into the most devastating,  broken heart imaginable.

I left the beach and retreated to Rancho Santa Fe, where I lived in a condo just three doors from Susan’s. My son and family also lived close by. There by the grace, faithfulness, and my trust in the Lord I was able to heal, be set totally free from any negative residue, and returned to an amazing happy life once again.  Making new friends and getting involved in the community and my church was life giving, and renewed my spirit.

Yet another element that was present.  I knew, as did our other two friends that there was more to this than what had happened to me being forced to move, and there was a why I was to be there with Susan.

An aside that always brought joy and laughter was helping Susan care for her grandchildren’s blue parakeet Spirit, and Coco their dog.  Spirit was for the most part was an unwanted house guest. Susan had taken on the duty of caring for a bird in loving support of her granddaughter, the owner of a blue parakeet. Not being a particular fan of feathered species nor knowing what to do other than provide bird seed, Susan asked if I could drop by to help with the care.

I, on the other hand, enjoyed birds of all kinds.  Being a neighbor only three doors away it was an easy assignment. I’d stop by first being greeted by her 4½ lbs. teacup poodle, Gabby who would run around in circles, then prance up and down walking on her back feet until I’d pick her up.  But immediately she’d jump out of my arms running straight for the table on which the birdcage was placed.  Now barking to inform me of the intruder. Of course, we both laughed hysterically at the crazy scene.

“Okay, I get the message” and picked up the dog, placing her in the hands of Susan.   Returning to the birdcage, I greeted Spirit with my best chirp. To the surprise of my friend the bird hopped across the bar in the cage to where I was standing. I again chirped and received a return greeting.  This back-and-forth conversation continued for several minutes, to the absolute delight and amazement of Susan.  “How do you do that?” she asked.  Turning to her and I said, “I don’t know,” then I  started making a clicking noise using my tongue against the top of my mouth, snapping it free and making this noise. Of course, Spirit replied immediately with a string of similar noise, then we’d return to chirps.  “That is amazing! Oh my god, you are a “bird whisper.” The dog stopped barking and cocked her head as if thinking the same

thought. Now the twice daily visits with Spirit gave us time to build a relationship before returning Spirit home to the granddaughter.  More importantly was the love and laughter – God’s healing balm that was given to both Susan and me.

Not long after, Susan’s health continued to deteriorate; she moved to live with her son and family a (it was also the home of Spirit.) Once she had settled in, I was able to pay a visit.  Upon arrival I was shown to the family room where Susan had settled for the afternoon. I immediately spotted the birdcage, the home of Spirit.  I walked toward the cage.  Her daughter-in-law clarified two things:  The bird, Spirit didn’t really speak to anyone, and the dog was very shy, and she hoped I wouldn’t be offended if she didn’t respond to me.

Immediately Susan explained my relationship with Spirit and animals in general.  After giving my friend a hug, I walked over to Spirit, who cocked his head as though he recognized me but was waiting for a greeting.  I chirped a “HELLO”. This set off a litany of chirps and clicks as if to say, “Hello” and also a scolding of clicks as if to say, “Where have you been?” Spirit grabbed a wire on the side of the cage to get closer, and the conversation continued much to the delight of Susan. She continued laughing and her daughter-in-law had a big smile on her face, along with a look of amazement.

I then moved to the couch.  I sat down and we begin chatting when the little dog “Coco” hopped up on the couch next to me.  “Well, hello pretty lady,” I said.  With that she climbed up on my lap.  I let her settle, then stroked her soft fur.  Now out of control with laughter Susan turned to her daughter-in-law and said, “I told you so; it’s unbelievable how she does that.”

I was fortunate to be with my dear friend Susan to the very end of her earthly journey.  I once asked her if she would save a place for me at the Lord’s table. Her response was “Of course I will I just hope you’ll be late for dinner.”